This year was no different. The conference is being held in Indianapolis in one month and my plans have disintegrated. First, the bill from U of I Hospitals came. We've been frequent fliers this year and until we have some sort of "come to Jesus" meeting with our insurance company, it looks like we're going to be stuck with a $1200 bill. Which is more than the conference and hotel would have cost. Oh, and then, the insurance strikes again... after the fact. My daughter had to have 2 teeth pulled and, guess what? A month after the fact the DDS office calls and says, "Um, your dental insurance won't pay for this." Well, okay, so why are we buying dental again???????? It barely pays for anything!!!
And then, the final nail in the proverbial Writers Conference Coffin: I have been summoned to Jury Duty for the month of, you guessed it, September.
Well, I guess there are a lot of ways to look at this to put a positive spin on it. and I do know spin, cuz I used to work in the music business--and--I've been involved in ministry! Did that sound, uh, negative? Well, think about it. How many times have you been roped into doing "service" that didn't really line up with your gifts or calling because someone put a "spin" on it. (In church situations the spin I speak of often comes in a form passed down from mother to daughter, it's called "guilting you into it.") But I digress.
Shawna's list of positive reasons she doesn't get to go to the ACFW Conference (again.)
1. There could be a plane crash. Thank goodness, I won't be on that plane.
2. Perhaps the hotel will miss one batch of the egg recall and--PRAISE BE!--I've avoided getting salmonella.
3. PMS. Need I say more? Well, okay. I'll just say that perhaps the dates of the ACFW conference are not the best time for me to be presenting my best self to potential publishers! When building a platform it behooves oneself to avoid appearing as a Big Ben-sized pendulum on the Mood Swing-o-Meter! Maybe next year the date will fit in better with my personal hormonal fluctuations.
4. I couldn't find a roommate, so I'm saving sooo much money by staying home.
5. My dog would miss me.
6. Delaney will be cheering football this year (she hopes) and I might miss one of her games if I go to the conference.
7. Orthodontia is very important and Dave has a dental phobia. Delaney is due for her impressions during that week and, well, things might go better if Mom takes her!
8. I didn't get my manuscripts to the point I wanted to by the deadline I had set for myself, so I wouldn't be as confident in shopping them as I would be otherwise.
9. Look at all the laundry I'll be able to keep up with by staying home!
and number 10. Isn't "jury duty" just another way of saying "research" ? There could be some primo people-watching possibilities down at the county courthouse!