It's Spring!

Mel Brooks said it first, but Anne Lamott echoed him, applying his strange advice to the craft of fictional characterization:

"Listen to your broccoli and it will tell you how to eat it."

I've been listening a lot lately. The problem is, I have a female stalk of broccoli that is very conflicted about the direction her story is going; and she's not too happy about where she's at.

Looks like it's time for a major re-write. Again.

I love this part.

I love the electricity; the zzzing! that I know will crackle through the air when my "broccoli" finally speaks; that beautiful "aha!" moment when I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, exactly who she is, who she wants to be, and what she's going to do next to reach that goal. I live for those time-out-of-mind hours spent frantically pounding out her story; those times when I know that I cannot at all take any sort of credit for the magic that shows up on the page... because it's bigger than me.

When it's good, it's Him. He's the author and I'm the transcriptionist; translating a particular truth into fiction; a Truth that burns in my heart like a fire.

Among many other wonderful things things I learned at the Writing for the Soul Conference last February, author Diann Mills pointed me toward Jeremiah 20:9; it has since become the motto for my writing life.

But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

- Jeremiah 20:9

The fire is not hot enough yet to steam this particular stalk of broccoli... but it's getting warmer.

Like the trees which were bare on Wednesday, but are now exploding with scent and bloom, my broccoli is getting ready to speak... and I'm getting ready to listen; no, to translate. Because Fiction Mirrors Truth and, while fiction blooms in season, Truth is evergreen.

I'm listening.

After all.... it's Spring.

Ouch!

I recently joined an online community of writers. This week I started submitting blurbs, wanting so badly for my work to be read that I picked out a scene of action from my completed fantasy novel. This particular scene comes late in the book and made little sense without the knowledge that comes from having read the preceding 7/8 of the work.

I am such a dork.

Last night, as I tried to go to sleep, I realized that the reason I had posted was to get the "attagirls" from other professional writers... I needed some justification for the hours (1 year+) spent creating that manuscript in my little cave of an office. Guess I should have hit my knees instead of my keys. Lesson learned... I hope. I have a track record with God of being a repeat offender in the area of "glory" seeking... sigh.

What I got from my community--from writers whose opinions I respect-- resembled nothing remotely like a pat on the back, although one guy worked really hard to make his critique sound "nice." (He may be my new best friend...) Instead of "attagirl", I got the reactions of some very confused readers who had no idea why this scene should be considered a good example of my writing ability. Ouch.

So... I went back, detached myself, and tried to read the post as if I knew nothing about the characters other than was included in the little blurb of action posted. Turns out, I agree with the critics. Double ouch with an "I'd better nuke this off before a publisher reads it and remembers my name as a future member of the slush pile!"

The moral of the story? Well, if you go fishing for compliments, you might just catch a smelly old shoe. Healthy, lowfat salmon swim upstream--I guess I need to look UP a little more before I put my writing out there in the big river.

My very strange sense of humor was on full tilt this week.

While perusing Amazon.com, I saw an ad which I'd seen countless times before but, for some reason, this time it tickled my funny bone. This was an advertisement for the wonderful technological advancement called the Amazon Kindle. I had to laugh at the brilliant marketing verbage that went into the ad copy, toting the selling point of the Kindle as a wireless, portable reading device.

Does anyone else see the irony here? A wireless, portable reading device; hmm... what a novel idea!

I have shelves and shelves of wireless, portable reading devices and, while they work very well to kindle my imagination, they bear no Amazon logo. All this time I had no idea I was so cutting-edge, technologically savvy!

It brought to mind a line from The Princess Bride, spoken by Peter Falk's character. I will paraphrase, "When I was a kid, Kindle was called books!"

Another funny happened at church which, quite often, is the breeding ground for some sort of overheard, unintentional wit. This particular dose of humor came my way during a rehearsal for our Easter cantata.

We were beginning to block scenes, going through the stage directions with our drama guy (affectionately referred to as "The Snaver") and he was giving individual direction to the actor playing Jesus. They had just paged through the crucifixion scene when Mike (the actor) asked, "So, does Jesus come back?" To which The Snaver replied, "Uh... no."

Of course, Mike meant "back on stage" and The Snaver meant that this particular dramatization did not contain a resurrection scene for the actor, but it was, instead, played out in song and on the big screens; but, the q&a exchange, out of context, was such a direct antithesis to the Easter message, I found it utterly delightful in a sick-sort-of-way. Again, I was the only one who caught it, but I laughed my tail off. When I shared my take on the exchange later with The Snaver, he thought it was pretty funny, too.

So there's your pre-Palm Sunday dose of humor. Hope it cures your blues for a moment or two. And, by the way, He does come back.... and He's coming again.

Learning Curve

There seems to be quite a learning curve for some of us in the over-thirty crowd when it comes to computer literacy. For me, the curve resides at the bottom of a roller coaster hill and often threatens to throw me right out of my seat.

When I was a senior in college, in 1995, my fellow students gave a presentation in a business class with the subject "What is the World Wide Web?"

Oh my.

So here I am, thirty-five years old, trying to grab my little piece of cyber space. I can guarantee no flashy graphics, no techno-savvy jargon, no fantastic new gadgets that will blow your mind... but you may see a piece of my heart every now and again.

Thanks for reading, and for seeking Truth in every realm.

Jeremiah 20:9